Frequently Asked Questions

What primary services do you offer?

Chicken sounds. Ocassionally, programming.

What do you specialize in?

Annoying the people I know.

What are the rates of your services?

I require many golds.

What type of warranty do you provide (on custom work)?

You're on your own, which is 10% better than most warranties.

Are you licensed and insured?

I have a license to drive, but no car insurance. Also no car. Also I don't drive. I have other insurances.

What are your terms and conditions?

My terms are unconditional surrender. My condition is old and decrepit.